What To Do When The Alimony Runs Out
by Dear DDD

Dear DDD,

After many years of being divorced, I am once again finding myself in a state of emotional distress. Why am I feeling like this? Well, my alimony has run its course and very soon will end.

After my divorce was final I had to make a decision to either stay at home with my children or as many of my friends told me to do, “Get a job.”   My alimony supported me to stay home and raise my children, so why would I go back to work? I loved being a stay at home mom, raising my children and being involved in their lives. The decision was made; I was staying home with my children.

Fast forward twelve years, my alimony ends in a few months and I am totally screwed. I raised three amazing children and I have not one bit of regret for making the decision to be a stay at home mom.

Why did I wait so long to worry about this? I guess I was busy raising my children and never thought the day would come. I’m finally at the place that parents wait for, I’m going to be an empty nester, no kids at home and finally I can concentrate on me. I shouldn’t have to be thinking about starting a career now. Not my reality! I needed to figure out my plan B that would enable me to pay my half of college tuitions, my mortgage, bills and to support myself.

Don’t get me wrong, I have been really fortunate that my Ex supported our children and me for so many years but know I need to figure out what I am going to do, and do it quickly. Time has gone by so fast; I never thought the day would ever come when the money would run dry.

The first thing I needed to do was to put together my résumé. The résumé process was just great! All of my accomplishments were based on a career I had 24 years ago, running a household and family, fundraising and running events at my children’s schools. Not to promising!

Interview after interview, and competing against fresh new college graduates, by no surprise I never got a job. I was ready to jump!

Who was I kidding, the thought of sitting in traffic, working for someone else and helping to make them rich made me want to vomit. I thought about starting a business but I didn’t have the money to invest.

Month after month went by with no results. What did I do? I kept telling myself everything was going to be ok, and avoiding how bad my situation really was. I was hoping for a miraculous miracle to make everything better.

Finally, my prayers were answered. I got a call from a college friend who wanted to meet me for coffee and to tell me about her new business. I really didn’t want to go and listen to another friends success story, great life and amazing career while I am literally struggling to make ends meet but after much deliberation, I decided to go. What did I have to lose; maybe she would offer me a job.

I walked into Starbucks searching for my friend and finally made eye contact with her. I couldn’t believe how amazing she looked, She had lost weight, her skin was glowing and she had a complete look of confidence. We chatted for a few minutes and then came the dreaded question. “So, how are you?” I was really embarrassed and hesitant to tell her about my situation and changed the subject as quickly as possible. She got the hint that I was not too willing to tell her so she turned the topic to herself. She told me that she recently quit her job. The long hours, getting home when her children were sleeping, the constant worry about her job stability and never having enough money at the end of the month was taking a toll on her. I was shocked to hear this, she was the woman I always admired; I thought her life was so perfect. She had a successful career, she was a working mother with four children, and she was the super mom that managed everything in her life. Deep down inside I was always jealous of her success.

About a year ago she started her own global health and wellness business, working part-time from home and along side of her work commitment. She recently quit her job because the money she was making working 10 hours a week had outnumbered the money she earned at the job that was killing her mentally and financially. She couldn’t stress enough that she had finally reached true success in her life. She was building a global home-based business that revolved around her family and life and finally reached financial freedom.

“WOW, tell me more.” My ears were like sponges. My friend started a Virtual Health and Wellness Business. Hmm.. What is this all about? She told me, “ It’s a 37-year-old modern-day network marketing company with over 250 products that are pure safe and beneficial,” meaning there are no nasty chemicals or byproducts in any of their products. After 15 minutes of listening to her outline her business, how she teaches and trains other friends to start their own business, about companies compensation plan, Mercedes-Benz incentive program, trips and so much more, I was really intrigued. What really got me was when she asked me, “If you continue doing what you are doing now, where will you be in five years?” Wow! That was the million-dollar question that really got my lazy mind thinking.

I was taking it all in and before she could say another word, I told her, “ I’m in!” What did I have to lose? I can start my business and if she could do it, I can do it!! I wanted what she had plus I knew the network marketing industry was booming. I had nothing to lose at this point of my life but everything to gain.

Three months ago I was in the worst situation of my life and now I am growing my own global business. In 2 months I became an Area Manager and I have shared this opportunity with my family, friends, and strangers in other states and countries.  I am growing my network of business partners, working part-time and from my home. I teach and train others how to start their business and build their organization of business partners so they too can earn an extra income, have a plan B and fulfill their dreams. For the first time in my life I am able to support myself, and I am doing it without my EX’s alimony check. I am working my way to the top of this company so I can have success, financial freedom, travel and do all the things that an Empty Nester dreams of doing.

If I didn’t meet my friend for coffee that day, I would still be complaining about my situation. Meeting her for coffee was the best decision I ever made. I am truly thankful to her for sharing with me this amazing opportunity. If I can do it, you can do it!

 

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