The Month Of New Beginnings
by Dear DDD

Dear DDD,

I have to tell you, I hate the month of January.

January: the first month of a new year, named after Janus, the God of beginnings and transitions. Also, January comes from the Latin word for door, since January is the door to the year.
In my eyes, January is the month of let downs, stress and planning – and it’s the month when a heavy door slams hard in my face.

I find myself very lonely in the month of January. After the excitement of the holidays, the hustle and bustle of shopping, wrapping presents, and holiday parties, the month of new beginnings opens a door to disappointments. Everyone is wiped out from the fun month of December, which brings an eerie social silence to the month of new beginnings. It’s as if my friends have been swooped up from an alien invasion, leaving their cell phones and myself behind.

My new beginning is welcomed by a maxed out credit card bill from spending way over my budget on holiday shopping. My January comes with stress to plan a new year’s budget to help pay for all of the stuff I just purchased – the thoughtfully planned gifts to keep everyone happy and to make Christmas a memorable event.

The excitement of my new beginnings, and strong will to stick to my New Year’s Resolutions, are fading quickly. I find myself in a vicious cycle to hold strong, keeping my head slightly above water and trying not to let my actions of over spending and past stupidity bring me down. Unfortunately, stress takes over and now I am struggling against giving in to old habits from the year past; stressful eating, constant money worries, keeping the kids on their paths, decisions about my future and the biggest thorn of all… dealing with my miserable EX.

The miserable thorn that just won’t go away.

Okay, January. You want new beginnings? This year I will be stronger than ever. I am determined not to let the door of new beginnings slam so forcefully in my face. It is me and my strength alone pushing forward with all my power that will keep the door even slightly ajar for change and a new beginning that I so deserve.

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A Photo Competition With My Ex
by Dear DDD

A Photo Competition with my Ex via @divorcedrama

Dear DDD,

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but a picture of your children is priceless. Today, having a cell phone with a camera makes picture-taking, and sharing photos, easier than ever. At any given moment, I am ready; a snap here, a snap there, “Smile,” “Say Cheese,” and I can capture that special moment. My EX and I don’t often see eye to eye, and communication is usually a nightmare, but sharing photos with each other is where we excel in the co-parenting department. We are actually courteous to each other when we are sharing photos of our children. Sharing our photos gives each of us the ability to hold onto the memory of a vacation, special event or a time when our kids were just being silly. For years our photo communication has been great but recently our picture sharing has taken a turn for the worse. (more…)

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My Ex’s Demand For The Kids To Have A Cell Phone
by Dear DDD

#DivorceDrama My Ex wants my kids to have cell phones via @divorcedrama
Dear DDD,

Tonight was a girl’s night out with friends. Dinner, a few drinks, and then the conversation really got rolling. Listening to the recent details of everyone’s lives, what their children have been up to and the dilemmas some of us are facing brought to me a sigh of relief. The back and forth chatter enlightened my own daily drama of family, kids, and an EX husband. One conversation that seemed to get a lot of attention was regarding cell phones. Who knew a conversation about cell phones would bring anger, frustration, opinions and a lot of advice.

A newly divorced friend was aggravated that her EX was constantly calling her home looking for their children. (more…)

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Why Do I Still Care About What My Ex Does?
by Dear DDD

Why do I still care what my ex does after #divorce? via @divorcedrama

Dear DDD,

I have been divorced for nine years now and I find myself still upset over my EX’s actions and how it affects my kids. I guess seeing my children’s feelings hurt or seeing them upset will always keep me in this mode of finding fault with my EX and letting him know what an ass he really is. Why do I care about what he does or does not do? His actions will only affect his relationship with his kids, not mine.

Trying to explain over and over again, to this idiot EX of mine, that what he does, the actions he chooses, and how it affects our children is exhausting. Why do I let it drive me crazy? Why? Because I love my kids? Because my EX thinks he is above the law? Because my Ex is a narcissistic pig who thinks he does no wrong? Sometimes I think maybe it’s just me, me trying to prove that I’m right. But here is the crazy thing: in my EX’s eyes, I will never be right. He sees his actions as perfect because no one ever tells him differently. Of course his wife is going to agree with him, because she encourages his bad behavior towards his children and me. The less time spent with his children is the more time spent with her and their family. She sees me as the CRAZY BITCH! His friends will always agree with him because he is not telling them the full story. (more…)

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A Friend Going Through Divorce
by Dear DDD

Being there for a friend going through divorce. Share your relationship woes with the Madame of Divorce! via @divorcedrama

Dear DDD,

I recently had lunch with a friend, a soon-to-be member of the first wives club. I tried very hard to keep the conversation on everything but divorce. I’m tired of talking about it and, quite frankly, I sometimes get tired of hearing about it. I, too, need a break from it and just wanted a little fun girl time with a friend.

Everything was going great – we were laughing and talking about what’s going on with friends, family and then… she just couldn’t hold back. The EX conversation began. I wanted to swoosh my chopped salad in her face. I just smiled, listening to her bitch and complain about her EX and then I suddenly realized it: this was ME 9 years ago. Have a little pity on her, I thought. But, oh, come on!! I don’t want to hear about your narcissistic, pain in the ass EX! However, being the kind and loving friend that I am, I sat and listened to her complain anyway. (more…)

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