I Really Have Been an Awful Good Girl
by Dear DDD

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Christmas Present
by Dear DDD

Christmas Tree

Dear DDD,

I was driving past Home Depot today and thought I would surprise the kids with a beautiful Christmas tree. The kids are older, busier and could not be bothered to spend time with me. No one wants to go to the Christmas tree lot to pick out a tree with me. Things have really changed. When the kids were little, they would beg me to take them to pick out a tree – now I’m standing in the Home Depot parking lot paying some grizzly guy to put the tree on a stand. I pay for the tree and this guy is just staring at me. Ok… what?! Are you going to help me tie this thing to my roof or what?! Another tip for one of Santa’s ugliest elves. I want those days back when I looked forward to picking out my tree – now I dread the thought of having to do all of this Christmas stuff.

So, I get the tree home and I’m sitting in my car afraid to get out because I have no idea how I’m going to deal with this 8 foot tree that’s hanging off of my roof. AHHHH! My neighbor’s gardener may just help me if I give him a tip. He and I lug the tree into my family room and stand the tree up in its designated spot. Why is my head tilting, tilting to look at the tree? That damn Home Depot Elf put the tree in the stand crooked. The Gardner looked at me and said “MUY BONITO.” Excellent. (more…)

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Christmas Past
by Dear DDD

Christmas Past pic

Dear DDD,

Do you remember my Christmas Past dated December 1977?

Dear Diary,

I came home from school today and decided to put up our Christmas tree. I pulled out the huge box from our basement and carried every piece up to our living room. I followed the directions and inserted every branch into the color-coded hole. My mom and dad got home from work and couldn’t believe that I put together the tree – and that it looked like I did it right! I think Mom was annoyed because she couldn’t deal with the mess. Dad helped me put up the lights after dinner and when my brothers saw how much fun Dad and I where having, they wanted to help. So many lights didn’t work so we couldn’t finish tonight. Dad had to touch and shake every light until he got them to work. Tomorrow I will put all of the ornaments on the tree. (more…)

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I Was Married To The Grinch
by Dear DDD

My Ex is a grinch. via @divorcedrama

Dear DDD,

I was married to the Grinch!
I spent my morning at my attorney’s office discussing my plan of action to once again defend myself. Three months ago, and after thousands of dollars in attorney fees, my EX and I came to an agreement on the modification of our child support order. Two weeks before Christmas, my EX has come up with some devious plan to try to change the support order. Like I don’t have enough stress with holiday shopping and all that goes with the most wonderful time of the year. It brings great joy to my EX to stress me out and to ruin my holiday.

Here’s what I have to say to you, EX: (more…)

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It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
by Dear DDD

Dear DDD,

It’s time to get shopping!
This should sum it up for you.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year
With the kids always demanding
And everyone is yelling, “To stay in your budget this year”
It’s the most wonderful time of the year

It’s the most expensive season of all
With my holiday list and spending for gifts
My credit cards are clanging with fear
It’s the most wonderful time of the year

There’ll be parties to go to
Fake friends to say HI to
And No mistletoe-ing in the snow
There’ll be scary divorce stories
Gossip will be whirling
Boob jobs will be glowing
It’s the most wonderful time, It’s the most wonderful time
of the year

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