When Your Youngest Gets His Drivers License
by Dear DDD

When your youngest gets his drivers license. Why am I feeling so sad? via @divorcedrama

Dear DDD,

My youngest child is out the door this morning excitedly greeting his driving instructor for the first time. I can’t believe my baby is preparing to drive. It feels like yesterday when I desperately chased behind him as he took off on the sidewalks driving his battery operated Hot Wheels truck. As the door shut behind him today, I suddenly felt a feeling of sadness.

Why am I feeling so sad? (more…)

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Why Do I Still Care About What My Ex Does?
by Dear DDD

Why do I still care what my ex does after #divorce? via @divorcedrama

Dear DDD,

I have been divorced for nine years now and I find myself still upset over my EX’s actions and how it affects my kids. I guess seeing my children’s feelings hurt or seeing them upset will always keep me in this mode of finding fault with my EX and letting him know what an ass he really is. Why do I care about what he does or does not do? His actions will only affect his relationship with his kids, not mine.

Trying to explain over and over again, to this idiot EX of mine, that what he does, the actions he chooses, and how it affects our children is exhausting. Why do I let it drive me crazy? Why? Because I love my kids? Because my EX thinks he is above the law? Because my Ex is a narcissistic pig who thinks he does no wrong? Sometimes I think maybe it’s just me, me trying to prove that I’m right. But here is the crazy thing: in my EX’s eyes, I will never be right. He sees his actions as perfect because no one ever tells him differently. Of course his wife is going to agree with him, because she encourages his bad behavior towards his children and me. The less time spent with his children is the more time spent with her and their family. She sees me as the CRAZY BITCH! His friends will always agree with him because he is not telling them the full story. (more…)

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A Friend Going Through Divorce
by Dear DDD

Being there for a friend going through divorce. Share your relationship woes with the Madame of Divorce! via @divorcedrama

Dear DDD,

I recently had lunch with a friend, a soon-to-be member of the first wives club. I tried very hard to keep the conversation on everything but divorce. I’m tired of talking about it and, quite frankly, I sometimes get tired of hearing about it. I, too, need a break from it and just wanted a little fun girl time with a friend.

Everything was going great – we were laughing and talking about what’s going on with friends, family and then… she just couldn’t hold back. The EX conversation began. I wanted to swoosh my chopped salad in her face. I just smiled, listening to her bitch and complain about her EX and then I suddenly realized it: this was ME 9 years ago. Have a little pity on her, I thought. But, oh, come on!! I don’t want to hear about your narcissistic, pain in the ass EX! However, being the kind and loving friend that I am, I sat and listened to her complain anyway. (more…)

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How to Dump Your Emotional Garbage
by Dear DDD

How to Dump Your Emotional Garbage After Divorce via @divorcedramaDear DDD,

Every evening I find myself begging and pleading for someone to take out the trash. It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it. Tonight I avoided the excuses and fighting and hauled out the over-stuffed bag myself.  A simple task of taking out the garbage turned my day upside down.

I walked out the back door, down the side of the house, and with one good swing into the garbage you go! Done. Until… I noticed that one of the kids forgot to close the garage door. No problem, since I’m such a problem solver. I decided to go back into the house through the garage and close the garage door myself. As I released the latch on the side gate, the door swung open and off my dog went, trying to escape for a romantic evening on the town.

Shit! I have no shoes on, the kids can’t hear me yelling for help, and every command I learned from the dog trainer was not working. Off I went chasing and screaming his name (including a few extra descriptions of my feeling towards him at that moment). He was off and running, a man with a mission. This lovable furry monster is only a year old, still only a puppy but tipping the scale at 100 + pounds. My fear was he was going to run into the street and get hit by a car. As passing cars drove up our street, I waved them down frantically in the hope they would see him running from me, and help in the efforts to stop him in his tracks. (more…)

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How to Stay Positive Despite Negativity From Your Ex
by Dear DDD

How to Stay Positive Despite Negativity From Your Ex via @divorcedramaDear DDD,

My EX loves to get a rise out of me with his nasty comments. I never fail to expect one of these remarks on a Monday to start my week with negativity and anguish. Not today!! You will not bring me down.

I have been the one filling out school forms, making decisions for tutors and doctors, and all other daily decisions for our children. Never a thank you for not bothering him with this stuff, but only criticism towards me and my choices I make. My EX loves to feel important and thinks he is the smartest and the greatest – he truly gets a rise out of criticizing and putting me down.  In the past he knew exactly how to get my blood boiling, always getting a rise out of me by driving me crazy and, like a complete idiot, I let him do this to me. I would get so worked up that I would turn into a complete mess for the rest of the day. (more…)

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